My dad died and now my brother is paranoid of EVERYTHING....Please Help

OK....here it goes...please bear with me...

My father passed away in February of 2001. He had a liver disease and he died waiting for a new liver. It was pretty tragic for us. Well, since then my little brother (he is 10 now) gets hives and goes through panic attacks where he thinks that he was going to die from EVERYTHING and he is constantly calling my mom on her cell phone to make sure she hasn't been in a car accident and that she is okay. He has also developed a learning disability somewhere along the line. And, now to make matters worse, he won't eat. His ribs are starting to show and everything....he is as light as a feather and he is pale (he is fair complected to begin with, but I mean he is PALE). It breaks my heart to see him this way....he is my "best bud". He was going to a psychologist, and he is getting help through a mentor program at school, but I am really worried about him. He was doing really good over the summer...he stopped worrying as much...the hives were gone...he was eating...everything was going good for him. Could it be the holidays coming up that has him back to the way he was before????

Somebody please help.....I am afraid that he is going to starve himself to death or something like that. I could just cry, my mom could just cry too. She tries not to yell at him because she doesn't want to make matters worse...but she gets frustrated sometimes and yells....It is just hard to deal with.

Kamden

10-18-2002, 04:19 PM

Talk to your mother aabout getting into family couseling, for all of you. His health is at stake. The death of a parent brings on many emotions such as anger at the parent for leaving them, resentment, feelings of guilt, feelings of helplessness and very deep pain, all of which your brother is keeping hidden , so it is coming out in an unhealthy way by his not eating. He needs a way of getting his feelings out and dealing with your fathers death and burying those feelings is what causes the eating disorder. You and your mother would benefit from counseling also. One cannot seek help when a death in the family has impacted everybody. Please talk to your mother about family counseling because I am sure her frustration with your brother at times, and yelling at him, stems from her own grief. If your mother cannot or will not go to family counseling, atleast try to get your brother back to the psychologist where he was improving. I am glad you have reached out for help for him. In the meantime, talk to him and let him express his feelings atleast to you, untill he can get back in. There are also school counselors to talk to about this, but don't wait or put it off, because it does sound like he needs it now. If he was improving over the summer, then stopped, it may be the stress of school along with dealing with this that has caused a setback, so get him back to the psychologist as soon as possible, and if you can, you and your mother go too , to help him and yourselves. I applaud you for looking out for your brother. Good luck