problem at work_zzcoke.com

Hi, I am 20 and I am doing an internship in a company.
This is my 4th month and i have 2 months left.

I have a problem with a girl... who is in the same office with me and another guy.

From my first day I didnt get along with this girl. I don't know how to explain it... but there is no chemistry between us, no topic to talk about...

We didnt have much problem... we didnt talk to each other but we were ok... there was no animosity, just lack of interest.

But lately, she makes rude comments and tries to isolate me from the rest...

I am not agressive at all, though I wish I were in this case because I keep quiet whenever she is rude to me... I dont want to make much scandal because she's been there for long time and everybody knows her better than they know me and I am just an intern...

But I am really suffering... I am planning to stop having lunch so that I dont have to be with her (in the office we dont talk at all)and have to stand her discharging with me.

Maybe this is not that serious but it makes me stress out and I dont know how long I can stand her... 2 months is too much...

To make this situation more detailed, I live in South America but I am asian. Today she said that this country's market were ruined by asians because they cheated and so on...(in a rude manner) I dont blame her for thinking like that but I think it is really unpolite to say that in front of me.
There are more things that she does to me, but I am trying to forget about them.

What can I do? I know I should tell her that her comments bothers me but she will try to fight with me (I think she tries to provoke me on purpose).

I am really fed up... please any comment will be welcomed

Frangipani

10-11-2002, 04:47 AM

Unfortunately you're going to run into more people like this down the road. Learn how to handle the situation now. Don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes people will test others to see the reaction they get, and if the person comes across as a pushover, they will continue being a nuisance. It really depends on you and what's being said in order to put a strategy into action. You may want to consider one of two things (or even both): either ask her somewhat firmly, "You know I really don't appreciate your rude behavior toward me especially when I have done nothing to you. If you have a problem, fine. But be an adult and let's talk it over civilly" (something along those lines just giving an example) or you can snap back at her every time she says something... Show her that you aren't going to be intimidated or back down.

It doesn't matter if you're an intern. This woman is no better than you. If you're in an uncomfortable environment, you have every right to try and correct it. Do not let this woman effect your job. That only means she won the battle. Develop a thick skin now and don't take crap off of anybody. It may sound tough at first to make that transition, but in life you can't allow others to walk all over you.

[This message has been edited by Frangipani (edited 10-11-2002).]

Girlie19

10-11-2002, 06:49 AM

maybe talk to the boss

Pinkroses

10-11-2002, 08:42 AM

It sounds like you work in the same place I do. I know exactly how you feel. I work with someone who talks about me behind my back, makes up lies, says rude and very nasty things to me and about me. (Sad thing is, there is someone else here that also has done the same thing to her,and me and also is even nasty to other employees here and she still has not learned from that. But that is another long story.) Even my boss knows that she is a liar and she thinks she is jealous of me. She also has a reputation of being a liar way before I started working here. But yet, management will not do anything about it. I could go on for hours about this place I work in. The stories I can tell you about this place can be made into a movie thats how bad it is. I want to leave but its hard to find another job and I just got married so I need the money. I was always told there is at least one (if not more like that) anywhere you go. I know I cant give you any advice because I am in the same posistion. But I just want you to know that your not alone and I hope everything works out for you. Thank goodness its only an intern that you have and not a permanent posistion like I have. Remember that you are better person and what goes around comes around. Good luck and take care!

someguyinhis20s

10-11-2002, 11:05 AM

MiffyBunny,

Unfortunately you will run into people like this throughout your career. The problem is that you're doing an internship. When you apply for a job, they'll most likely talk to the company you interned with, so the last thing you want to do is something that might affect your chances of landing your first job. Normally, I'd tell you to confront this girl, in a professional way of course. But because you only have 2 months left and because an internship is such an important step towards launching your career, I would do nothing. Don't let her push you around but at the same time, don't risk making it worse by confronting her. Instead, just avoid her altogether, concentrate on the work, and be ready for the next time you run into someone like that. 2 months may seem like a long time, but it'll fly by. Your pride may demand you speak up, but in the work world, you have to be smart about when to speak your mind and when to put up and shut up.

[This message has been edited by someguyinhis20s (edited 10-11-2002).]