GF cheating ..what to do please help!!

So, what will you do if you can't trust her because she's been having sex with someone else?

This is a terrible thing that you are going through. See if you can concentrate on doing the best at your new job and let her go. There are things that she needs to work through, the least of which is honesty. You will be much better off in a few months.

Lots of hugs and a better tomorrow to you --

Thanks for your reply and advise Marj.

Should I ask her to explain to me why she kept coming to me while she was sleeping with someone else? Or should I just stop communicating?

Sometime ago I posted an electronic card for her on my web page, today I took it down but we saw it down and wrote me an email to please put it up as it was her happy food. Should I put it up?

Long-term relationships sometimes end up this way. You can love each other, and yet one will wonder a bit at what else is out there. Rather than break up and risk losing you they give it a go secretly - figuring they can stay with you if there isn't "something else" out there.
Then the decison is yours. Forgive? Trust?
Walk away, take some time to heal and then get out there again?

There IS more than one right person out there for everyone... I'm living proof of that. After discovering my boyfriend was cheating on me with an ex-girlfirend I ended up meeting the person I know I was meant to marry just 6 months later.
We've been married for 14 years.
For me, a clean break always worked best.

I wish you the best with a heart-breaking decision.

She came by last night trying to explain why she did what she did and wants us to give love a chance. What does she want now??

It might be poor form to psychologize, but I hope this will give you some insight:

Her explanation was not to you, it was to herself to rationalize her behavior. She is pushing the boundaries of deception and see how far she can get. Mind you, she is not conscious of the fact that she's actually doing this, but there is no good way to describe this.

She has problems with honesty and needs to take time to sort it out. The problem is not about you or your relationship with her. Give her space to find her way out of this. How would I tell her? Maybe something like, "Aside from the trust issues, I think you need some time to really look at your own life and whether you are happy or not. I don't want to be a safe harbor where you can indulge in deceptions to yourself. It's not relaly about cheating on me, but cheating on your own integrity. I don't want to be an accomplice in that crime, even if I do love you."

(something to that effect...)

Take care of yourself and get your support system together for those days when you feel weak.

Best, Marj

lalovetrouble,

Watch out for women who want to play games with your head. She cheated on you, don't give honor her for it on your website. Don't ask questions, as the relationship should be put behind you. I've learned this the hard way, my friend. It's hard, but it's time to look out for yourself and your own feelings. Sitting around imagining her with another man, wondering what it was like, thinking of the sounds, and wanting to ask her questions will do you no good.

In fact, it will probably feed the hurt you have all ready. See her for what she is and move on as best you can.