Things that make you go hmm....

Been married for a little over a year. Been together for a total of 4 years this year. We just had a baby 2 months ago. I'm 30 and he is 47.
I was on my husband's computer and found a folder he had made and looked in it and what was there?! Pictures of naked women. He is saving them from a website he visits. They are voyeurism pictures. I'm not talking a few pictures but alot pictures. I guess this is what he has been doing when I wanted him to come to bed with me and he wouldn't. I would tell him I'm going to bed and I want you to come with me. He would say OK but he wouldn't. When he did finally come to bed I was already asleep. With a 2 month old baby I can't wait up for him because I have to get up with her during the night. I got tired of this so I told him he needed to start coming to bed with me so he does now. Which I'm glad because I really missed that. But I just can't understand why he is doing this. I did not expect this out of me. I know looking and saving pictures is not cheating but will it end up with him cheating? I mean crap, he won't give me sex enough but he looks at other women and saving these pictures. All he has to do is come to bed with me and he can get what he wants when he wants but he won't. He has even missed work because he stays up so late and is to tired to go to work. From the time he gets in from work till he decides to come to bed he is on the computer. Am I over-reacting here? I want to say something to him but I don't know if I need to or not. When I found these pictures I was upset. I know men just as well as women look at pictures like this but why is he saving so many of them? I can't understand this. Can somebody help me understand this and should I say something?

Say something? Of course you should. He is disrespecting you and taking precious husband/wife time away from you and replacing it with pictures he can view anytime in his own little secret world.
If he is missing work because he stays up LATE looking for pics or at women, he is either developing an addiction (or has been hiding it). I think you and him need to sit down and get to the bottom of this, and the reason WHY HE feels the need to do what hes doing.
You just had a baby, the last thing you need is to feel that he would rather be spending time looking at other women than with you. I suggest he gets rid of the file and stay OFF the computer till he can get himself together. you have a baby, he needs to spending THAT time with you and the baby.
Please take care and don't take it from him. You deserve BETTER than his actions.
Jen

Hi, I don't really see anything wrong with him looking at or keeping the pictures, as long as they are just pics from a website...not pics of women he is actually having contact/correspondence with. My s/o and I like to look at porn from the internet together, and sometimes when I'm not home, he will masterbate to them. He doesn't keep this a secret from me, and I don't mind at all. I don't see any problem with this. However, if your husband's looking at these pictures are taking away from other aspects in his or your life, then I would say that IS a problem. My boyfriend doesn't put looking at porn before me, he puts me first. My first husband looked at a lot of internet porn (which like I said, I have no problem with in and of itself, it's just pictures), but he, like your husband, started staying up late, getting up early in the morning, and even coming home during his lunch break and looking at internet porn...all the while not paying me much attention at all. He chose porn over me. After a while, I found out that he was meeting girls on line, and cheating on me. I really don't know if there is a connection really, but that is what happened. I think you should have a talk with your husband and see what the problem is. There is no way he should be dissing you to view porn! Good luck. :)

See that's why I didn't expect this out of him. He is the kind of man that is few and far between...or at least I thought he was. He is the best husband in every other way. I also found other files that were older(off of his old comptuer) today. I don't know if this is something that he has always done or something that just started. I know it just started within the last year of staying up so late. He is not missing much work but he missing some work here and there. Just like last week. He stayed up late 4 nights in a row and then missed worked because he said he had a headache. Well I went to take my son to school (wasn't gone 20 minutes) and when I came in I seen where he was on the computer. Well what was he looking at....you guessed it..looking at the same kind of pictures. Apparently his head wasn't hurting to bad huh?! I could understand him looking at this kind of stuff if something was missing in the marriage but I don't see where anything is missing. I would do and do anything for him. All he has to do is ask. The only thing missing is the lack of sex for me anyway. I mean you would think as much as he looks at these pictures and saves them he would want sex more....I don't know. Maybe once a week and twice a week if I'm lucky. Finding this many pictures saved on his computer doesn't make me feel to good. Maybe it's because I just had a baby and my hormones are still wacked out, I don't know but I feel like crap.

That's what I'm scared of. Will these pictues led to something else. Maybe it would be different if he didn't keep it a secret and let me find it myself. I wasn't on his computer just looking to find it or see if he was doing something wrong. I was on his computer doing something he asked me to and the folder he made was there so I looked...curosity is what killed the cat. I'm not knocking looking at porn. I do it myself too but he is putting it before me and it makes me feel like crap. Wonder how he would feel if I was doing what he is doing?

Have you asked your husband why he doesn't want to have sex as much as you'd think he would? Is he helping you out with the baby at all? I think it's important that you (and your baby) get the attention you need from your husband. Does he know yet that you know about these saved pictures? If you ARE okay with him saving the pictures, then don't make a big deal about it or he'll just start hiding it better. Let him know that you don't mind about the pictures (if that's how you feel) but that you DO mind that he looks and spends so much time on the computer that there's no together time with you. It also does sound like a problem, perhaps an obsession, if he's staying up so late that he's too tired to go to work. Even doing that once is not very responsible. So not only is he giving the computer more attention than you, but also other aspects of his life. I don't think that by him looking at those pictures it necessarily means something would be missing from your marriage, but then again, to you something is definitely missing - him! Maybe he's been doing this for years, even before you met, and now that you're married he feels more comfortable doing it? But he seems to be keeping it pretty secretive. You have to discuss this with him or you won't get any answers.

I've always heard that after giving birth, women's hormones are going crazy and that they usually don't want sex as much. Your husband should be glad that you DO want sex a lot! What if you were to look at pictures online with him? Honestly, if he's "allowed" to save pictures of females, it should be okay for you to do the same with pictures of men, right? I'm not saying to do what he's doing. I guess what you could do is look online with him and when he knows that you know about his saved pictures, make a comment or ask him how he would feel if you saved pictures of men. It shouldn't be any different! But if you don't even want to save pictures of men, don't do it just to make him angry, you know what I mean? There's no reason for it to be okay for you to feel badly because of what your husband is doing. Talk to him about it. He may not even know that you're upset or why.

[QUOTE=can'tunderstand]

Revoke his membership privileges, disconnect the cables-do whatever it takes to get your life back. Confront him about the pictures and have him delete the files in front of you (for several reasons-yes he could replace them, that's not the point of the exercise) Tell him it will ruin your relationship if he continues and you won't permit that. It's an evil-you refuse in your house. It perverts something that is supposed to be beautiful. You have a family and he needs to be in a family mindset and in a good place spiritually. These things corrupt the spirit. Could it lead to cheating? Sure-that is another evil. He needs to clean up. A family that prays together stays together. If he offers no explanation still make it clear this will not be tolerated. If he's addicted get him help. If he is willing to jeopardize his employment he's addicted.

My advice is to talk about it to him but in a non-judgemental way, if possible. If you label him, attack him or accuse him of doing anything else besides just looking at pictures it will back-fire on you.

When a baby comes into the house it's really stressful for guys too but for different reasons. Maybe he feels more of a financial responsibility? Maybe he's feeling like a family man and feels like he's losing this sexual identity? Maybe looking at these pictures distracts him? Maybe it's a way of escaping?

You asked why he doesn't just come upstairs and have sex with you. Well, if he is doing this to de-stress (even if it's unknowingly) then having sex with you wouldn't exactly be the same thing. The truth about "real" sex (as apposed to what he is doing) is that it involves emotional connection, intimacy and the added pressure of pleasing someone else. I'm certainly not saying that "real sex" is bad, but I'm just saying that it's not the kind of "escape-sex" that he might be needing or wanting to indulge in right now. Maybe he feels that you wouldn't understand or that he can't talk to you about it?

But having said all that, I think the compulsiveness to which he is doing this - staying up late, many hours on the computer, etc.... means that either it has gotten out of control. Or is there just alot he is trying to escape from?

I hate to sound like I am defending him because I know this is bothering you - otherwise you wouldn't be writing. But I want to give him the benefit of the doubt first. Plus, I am more likely to take this view because my husband openly talks to be about this kind of "guy" stuff because he knows he can. His friends talk to me the same way because they know I'm not offended by it - so I get to hear what guys really think....and what they really do. ALL of them (every single one of them) either look at Playboy type magazines and/or watch porn - so your husband is not unusual or in some gross minority. The only thing that is unusual is the amount of time that he is doing it. So please don't make the assuption that your marriage is doomed. Especailly since you say that he is a great husband in all other ways. Maybe this is just an area the two of you need to talk about. It might be nothing at all - really.

Back to my husband and his friends and what I know about their marriages, it makes me wonder... and please do not be offended by this because I certainly don't mean it to be an offensive suggestion... but IF you are not opposed to adult films, you might suggest watching an adult movie with him. And it wouldn't have to be the nasty, dirty stuff, but just some of the more sexual CineMax movies or something. If that is not a repulsive idea to you, then it might be the thing that will make him turn off the computer and come upstairs with you. You could turn this sexual compulsion of his from being something he has to hide and be ashamed of into something fun, exciting, adventurous for the two of you to do together. He might be totally relieved that you are not judging him for his sexual "appetite". But of course, that's only going to work if adult movies don't repulse you. It's a very personal opinion but one that each of us has the right to make. And again, please don't be offended by that suggestion... I'm just throwing it out there.

Which brings me to something else... if you are offended by the idea of him looking at this stuff - regardless of where it leads, then you just need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. If you can't tollerate it in your marriage then you have to tell him that.... or you will resent him for what he is doing.

I wish you all the best of luck with this! I hope it is nothing to worry about and I hope the two of you have a good talk. By the way, I think he is really lucky to have a wife that would even THINK about having sex knowing she has to get up and take care of the baby in a few hours. Boy, I was tired, exhausted and grouchy for a year after each of my kids were born. LOL He doesn't know how lucky he is!!!

Well he is not helping with the baby as much as I thought he would or should. When I'm trying to fix supper and she is crying, he doesn't get off the computer to come help me. My 8 year old son (his step son) helps me! After supper when I'm cleaning up and she is crying, he is on the computer. Thank god for my son. I'm not saying that the WHOLE TIME he is on the computer he is looking at these pictures.

He has never wanted sex as much as I have. Even when we first got together we would only have sex about 3 times a week. But we could only see each other 3 days a week then. I knew from the start he did not want sex as much as I did. But over the years it seems to be getting less and less. I am very satisfied when we do have sex. He makes sure I am taken care of everytime. But you would think if he has the sexual desire to look at all these other women he would want sex more. I just can't understand that part of it. When he is not giving me sex as often as I want it, I'm not on the internet looking and saving pictures of other men. You say he is trying to escape. I don't know what he would be trying to escape from. I know all guys look at Playboy type magazines. Single, married, young ,old, you name it. When we sold his house(about 6 months ago) and while we were cleaning it out I found the one's he had. I asked him what he wanted me to do with them and he said throw them away because he wouldn't need them anymore. I asked him a few times to make sure this is what HE WANTED and he said throw them away. I mean hell I sat there and looked at them myself in front of him before I threw them away. He said he didn't need them anymore that he had those before me and him got together and if he wants to look at other women all he has to do is look at me. I wouldn't have cared if he kept them. So that's why I can't understand all of the pictures now. The only thing that has changed is the baby. But if the baby is the problem, looking at these pictures is not the answer. But honestly I don't think the baby is the problem. I feel as if I'm the problem. I mean when I tell him I'm going to bed, come with me and he won't because he would rather stay on the computer, makes you wonder. If he didn't want them 6 months ago why does he want it so much now? Especially after what he told me when I found the magazines. And I know it's not because I gained weight while pregnant. I lost weight the whole time I was pregnant and after I had her. But it does make me feel like crap knowing I just had his baby and all he has to do it come to bed with me and get what he wants but he won't, he would rather look at it on the internet.

I don't have a problem with the adult films with us watching them together. We did at first, the one's that came on HBO and another channel (but can't remember what it was) late at night. If anything it might end up better for me. But he says he is to tired to have sex. Well he ain't to tired to sit up half the night some nights looking at other women. I mean all he has to do is to come to bed with me and he can look at me, touch me, do anything he wants to do and get anything done to him that he wants but he won't.

Maybe I'm making a bigger deal out of it than what it really is but it hurt my feelings when I found all of these pictures. I guess because I wasn't expecting this out of him. And knowing this is what he is doing when I needed help with the baby and begged him to come to bed with me. He knows he doesn't have to hide anything from me so I can't understand why he would be hiding it now. I mean he is not hiding it to hard if I found it. I mean I didn't have to "dig" in his computer to find these pictures, they were just there.

Hmmm... does he seem like the kind of guy that was brought up to be really ashamed of this kind of stuff? So that, even if you say it's okay for him to have it he might still be embarassed (secretly) and feels like he has to hide it and sneak it? Maybe it might take more convincing that you are okay with it?

He may also be saying "I don't need that, all I need is you" because he is afraid that you really don't approve. Maybe he is afraid that he's hurt your feelings by having this stuff? I know, he shouldn't be thinking that way if you make it obvious that it doesn't bother you.... but maybe his internal programing tells him that this stuff is sinful and looking at it makes him a horrible person?

One other thing that comes to mind. If he has a lower than normal sex drive for a man, maybe he has difficulty in that area. Maybe the pictures help him because they are so graphic? That might explain some of this? Maybe he needs more convincing that you are really okay with it?

I dont know - I'm just reaching for anything that makes sense. But I hate to see you feeling like you're not good enough because I doubt that is it at all. I think you'd be doing the right thing by just talking to him about it some night when you're in bed. Just bring it up and tell him you want to try to figure out what these pictures are all about. He needs to know that it's not okay for him to spend time on the computer and not with you. Does he "need" the graphic images? Is there more to it than just the pictures? Is there some way (like movies) that would help him, but also let you be included. I think if you bring this up, in the right way, he will open up. And I wouldn't be at all surprised if he doesn't know why he does it. He probably hasn't thought it out. The two of you might have to figure it out together.

If you want it this stuff off the computer, you could tell him that you found those pictures pretty easily and that you'd be pretty upset if your son accidentally found them. He needs to at least be more responsible that way!

One last thing.... aside from nudie pictures or not, there is no reason for him to not be helping you with your little girl. If he can't see that then he is truely being selfish. And you need to get him involved right away before it becomes a habit of him to just think that taking care of the kids is your job.

Boy, I wish you the best of luck. I hope he comes around and starts focusing on the family and any of this sexual stuff can be figured out between the two of you.

No he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that was brought up to be ashamed of this kind of stuff. He is far from that.

What is a normal sex drive for a man? I mean since we have been together it's always been about 3 times a week but lately it's only once a week maybe twice if I"m lucky. There is a 17 year age difference between us. I know this has something to do with it but if he needs pictures to get him in the mood that doesn't make me feel any better, if that's what you are talking about. When we do have sex, it's great! I just can't get past the idea of him being on the interent looking at and then saving these pictures instead of coming to bed with me when he knew I needed and wanted him to. Especially with a 2 month baby there is not alot of "us" time till it's time to go to bed. Which I know I don't compare to the pictures he has saved but he knew that 4 years ago. It just makes me feel bad. I just didn't expect this out of him. I guess I'm shocked and can't get through my head of why. OH WELL.....

Is this his first time being a father? Maybe he is really just trying to escape from the reallity of it all.... most of the time it is the mother who becomes depressed and lost after having a child, but sometimes it can be the father as well. Maybe this new baby, with all it's crying and constant needs and demands, is too much for him to handle and instead of dealing with his responsiblities and emotions, the ups and downs that come along with it, the depressipon and sadness that can be associated with it... he is escaping from them, by being in this quick and easily accessible fantasy world of online porn.
Why don't you talk to him, this is the only way you are going to understand where he is coming from.... He might need emotional support to help him in making the transition into fatherhood, but doesnt know how and if he should ask for it. Whatever the case maybe, you really need to talk to him first.

Yes this is his first time to be a father. But I don't think looking at porn is the answer if this is what his problem is. Maybe that's why this is bothering me so bad because I just had his baby 2 months ago and then I find this on his computer. Makes you feel like crap. If he doesn't know the transition into fatherhood..maybe he needs to be looking that up on the interent instead of what he is doing.

Have you ever walked in the room where your husband is on the computer late at night? Does he ever hide the screen quickly? Have you ever "caught" him looking at the pictures and if so, what was his reaction? What if you were to go to bed after asking him to come when he doesn't, which I'm assuming is how it goes, and then get out of bed a few minutes later to see him and ask him again nicely, "Why don't you want to come to bed with me? Is what you're doing so important that it can't wait until tomorrow?" You said he does other things than looking at the porn online, but no matter what he's doing it should be able to wait. Could it be possible that he's afraid for whatever reason that you will want sex and he doesn't so instead of saying no to sex and disappointing you, he'd rather have you fall asleep first? That's disappointing as well, but maybe he doesn't think of it that way. Just a guess...

If you were to specifically ask him for help with something with the baby, does he usually help or make excuses? You should make a comment to him that your older son helps out more than he does and see how he reacts. He'll know it's true, but maybe to hear it from you will open his eyes. Is your husband ever affectionate with you, even a hug or kiss?

Hi Cantunderstand,
It sounds as if you and your hubby have a wonderful marriage outside of this issue you are facing. What you should really do is sit him down and say "honey, I love you and I know it's stressful having this new baby, but I have something to talk to you about". Be honest with him! Tell him this has been tearing you up. Hey I look at porn too, but I don't hide it from my hubby. I also don't have a special folder filled with pics of it. Maybe it's really not that big of a deal to him? If he was "hiding" it - he probably would NOT have had you go on the computer for him to do something, right? Just talk with him. If not you will end up holding this over his head forever. :nono:

I don't really have any advice. But I can tell you I have been in your shoes, and truely feel for you. My second husband and I were together over 10 years. I would go through the exact same feelings as you describe when I would find he was looking at naked women on the internet. He had little time for our love life, but plenty time for porn.We would sit down, discuss it, I would tell him it's not the porn, it's the fact that he's preferring porn to me. He would apologize, throw away the porn, say he's going to give me his attention. Our sex life would improve for awhile, then eventually he would be up late at night again while I'm laying in bed by myself. This started happening after we had been together about 4 years, and lasted up into the end of our relationship. But, this was a part of the reason we divorced, but not the whole reason, so don't let it discourage you.
Now that we are divorced, we can talk about it a little more openly. He claims that he did it because he felt that I was pressuring him too much and he was stressed. He said that porn does not judge him, expect anything, or require anything from him. It was an opportunity for him to just be himself.
You definately need to talk to him about it. I hope things work out for you. Hang in there. :wave:

The important thing is not to be judgemental... there are a number of things that could be going on... maybe he is also sad, upset, depressed about starting his fatherhood days at such an old age... he probably is going thru a phase of slight depression... missing work, obsessing about nude pictures, not spending quality time with you, not having sex as frequently as he did.... instead of being on the defense, just talk with him and try to let him know that it is okay for him to let you know how he is feeling, even if he is not feeling so manly or strong... sometimes men dont want to show their emotional side esp. if they are depressed or sad... for them its a reflection of weakness and wimpiness.. so they clam up and instead direct these pent up emotions into useless activities such as this one- maybe to prove their manhood to themselves...like hey I am viewing porn, okay, I'm not a wimp- I am still a man or maybe just to serve as a place to divert their unresloved emotions to- I dont know- but nonetheless, you should really talk to him and approach him with some sort of understanding of where he could be coming from and not just from your own understanding and viewpoints. Good Luck.

We finally talked last night about the pictures and he deleted them. He said he was doing it for some younger guys at work that does not have the internet and he was going to make them a CD of the pictures. I asked him why him and he said he knew I knew he viewed the site and was ok with it so making a CD would not be a big deal whereas some of the other guys at work, their wives DO NOT APPROVE of it so they could not make the CD's. But it's like I told him IF I would have known why the pictures were there it would have been different instead of just finding them and having a million things run through my head but he totally understands where I'm coming from. I told him that since I knew what he was doing with them that he didn't have to delete them but by then it was to late. He said he completely understands how I would feel seeing it considering I just had a baby 2 months, we have to take my ex husband back to court AGAIN, lack of sleep, etc. and then seeing this didn't help matters any because I already have alot on my mind and alot on me to get done. He said he doesn't NEED(I asked him just why he needed them) the pictures because he has me and I'm all he needs. I told him I was overreacting(he said I have alot on my mind and finding something like this didn't help it any) but at the time I didn't know what to think about the pictures because it's not like him to do something like this. Yes I knew he viewed the site but it wasn't like him to be saving them. I asked him why he didn't just tell me and he said he didn't think anything of it. He wasn't trying to hide it from me. He said he is not going to do anything to mess up our marriage and if that means deleteing the pictures then he will. He did say he does go to that site every now and then and look around(which I already knew). He said that is the only one he visits though. It's not what he calls "nasty porn" all it is is nudity....voyeurism pictures. He was the one that showed me the site and I even go there sometimes. I know I go there more than he does. I told him I understand going to the site because it's human nature to look. He said looking is one thing and wanting to touch is another and if it gets to this point then there is serious problems. He said he doesn't care that I go to them either. But I told him it's hard to find a site with straight men on it. But he said if something is bothering me to let him know then instead of keeping it bottled up inside of me and then it makes things worse. It's like he said after keeping it bottled up and when something is finally said, some things might be said that shouldn't be said and that will mess up the marriage too. I was just overracting but he understands and was not mad at all. He said the most important thing to him is me and our marriage and his family and he is not going to do anything to mess that up.

We also talked about him staying up late at night and he said he will start coming to bed with me. Which we talked about this a week ago and he has been coming to bed with me ever since but we talked again last night about it. I told him I don't expect sex from him every night because I know he doesn't want it every night.(I knew this before we started dating) I just want him to come to bed with me so we can talk, hold each other, whatever. I didn't have this in my first marriage. Heck when I got with him, I was scared to even touch him and get close to him because of the way my first husband treated me. But he brought me out of all of that and it is the best feeling to have a man treat you right and touch you and hold you and know he is just not doing it to get him some.(like my first husband done) I didn't know what true love was till I got with him.

Butterflygirl to answer you question if I ask him for help with the baby he will help. He helps out more on the weekends than during the week. I don't have to work so I'm here everyday with her and told him I need a break for a little while in the afternoons. I told him he gets his break by going to work everyday. We talked about this last night too and he said he will start helping out more but he wants my son to continue to help also. My son gets a kick out of it knowing he can rock her to sleep, give her the bottle, etc. And he is very affectionate also. Like I said above, I didn't have this in my first marriage and when I got with him I scared to death to touch him. But he showed me it was ok and how good it was to be touched in the right ways and now I can't keep my hands off of him. :) As far as him staying on the computer, he has a dozen different projects he is working on so that's why he is on the computer so much but after talking last night he see's where I"m coming from about him spending to much time on the computer. And that's how me and him met was online in a chat room almost 4 years ago. And no he doesn't hide the screen when I walk into the room. Whatever he is doing he will continue to do.

I know what all of this boils down to is that I was overracting and had a million things running through my head that I shouldn't have had running through my head. He is a very good husband. He is one of these that are few and far between. I was making a bigger deal out of it than it was but he understands and says it's because I just had a baby 2 months and that everything is going to be ok. He said if anything is bothering me whether it's something big or little to let him know then(which I have a hard time doing) instead of keeping it inside and that he is not going to get mad at me.(that's what I was scared of) He said he will not hide anything from me that he is very open and honest. Which I alreay knew. So after this long talk about everything we ended up making love and it was like it was on a different level. Since I know how he felt and how I felt about things we were connected better...I don't know it's hard to explain but I know how it felt.

Thanks to all who replied.

I'm so glad to hear that you talked and it is all fine!!!! He sounds like a great guy and didn't get defensive - in fact he was completely understanding of your side of it. A happy ending... yay! :D

Oh, by the way, I just have to say this.... my husband has a much stronger sex drive than me and I purposely don't go to bed when he does. I just feel this "tense" feeling when he wants me to go to bed because I know what he wants. I know that sounds terrible, but it's hard on both people when their sex drives don't match. PLUS, I also stay up late because I love how quiet and peaceful the house is at night when everyone else is in bed.

Anyway, so glad to hear you talked this out! ;)

That's wonderful. It brought me to tears! He sounds like a keeper!

I'm so glad you talked to your husband and it worked out so well! I'm also glad that your husband does help out with the baby. It's totally understandable that he is more able to help out on weekends since he has to work during the week and it's good that your son is so helpful! He will grow to be a great father someday. It's good that he loves to help out. Your husband is definitely a keeper!

ZeeMe when we get ready for bed or anytime I don't pressure him for sex. I can tell when he's in the mood and he's not. I know how it feels to be pressured for sex. My first husband,this is one of the things he done to me. I know the feeling and I hated it!!! So I'm not going to do it to somebody I love and he knows this. I knew his sex drive was lower than mine before we started dating. Yes I would love to have sex more often but it's quailty over quanity anyway. And it's like my husband says...marriage is not made up of sex. Sex is just the icing on the cake.

And he is definitely a keeper. I'm not letting him go anywhere!!!! :) I thank God everyday that we found each other.