Very Soap Opera drama please help! |
Here it goes, I will try to keep this as coherent and concise as possible.
I have been hanging out with my brother and his friends lately. One of his mates and I shared a mutual attraction. First we just flirted and made out some and one night we "hooked up." After that he told me to call him and I said that he would have to call me because I don't call. (I was just being honest) he didn't. A few weeks later my bro. and some of his friends went out. The guy was there but he didn't even come over to say hi. I made the first contact and said hi. We had an awkward moment where he went to hug me but it sort of turned into a handshake (very "Seinfeld":) so anyway my bro. and his friends know nothing of our "Hook up" so my bro was pointing out girls to him and at first he was very casual saying "oh, they all look that same to me" but he never made an effort to talk to me when I was alone.
Meanwhile, another of my bros friends likes me as well and since he doesn't know about me and the other friend he was flirting with me and dancing with me and hanging on me all night. I tried to be cool and not reciprocate out of respect for the situation, but I couldn't tell if that bothered the boy or not.
However, after a while he started ogling other girls and going after them. He was dancing with one girl and then they stopped. Then as we were leaving to go home he HAD to stop and get her number right in front of me! (like he couldn't have gotten it when they were dancing) but anyway as we were walking home he started yelling at girls and talking about having sex with them and seeing them naked and It was all very disgusting and disrespectful, #1 because he was with a woman and #2 said woman is a person with whom he had been intimate with (not to mention he had some uhm...problems in that area with staying the opposite of down) Every time I would say something about him being inappropriate he'd say "Your with the guys this is how we act."
Anyway, my question is this: Was he acting the way that he did because #1 he likes me but was afraid and he didn't like seeing me with the other guy? (I don't know about this because he didn't call) #2 He doesn't like me and he was acting rude and crass so that I would not like him for being a jerk. ( he could have just said that he wasn't feeling it) or #3 he doesn't care either way and he was just acting normal and normal for him is a brackish arrogant fool?
Thanks for your patience, time and opinion and if you've gotten this far-sorry about the length. :confused:
supertrooper 02-10-2004, 08:31 AM #3. What's to like about that?
babydollface 02-10-2004, 03:29 PM #3. What's to like about that?
What's to like about what? If that was your advice I don't understand it but thanks anyway. :confused:
Men act stupid, especially when they get in a group. I think supertrooper wants you to think really hard about liking a "brackish arrogant fool," especially if you think that is normal for him. We're hoping that you think enough of yourself to find someone of better quality.
Guys aren't like us; they don't require an owner's manual. Usually they are pretty straight up: if they want to see you, they call right away. If they want to be with you, they will do everything they can to stake their territory. In this case, it depends on whether you consider him 'Mr. Right Now' or 'Mr. Right' and what you want at this point in your life.
Good luck!
babydollface 02-11-2004, 01:28 AM Men act stupid, especially when they get in a group. I think supertrooper wants you to think really hard about liking a "brackish arrogant fool," especially if you think that is normal for him. We're hoping that you think enough of yourself to find someone of better quality.
Guys aren't like us; they don't require an owner's manual. Usually they are pretty straight up: if they want to see you, they call right away. If they want to be with you, they will do everything they can to stake their territory. In this case, it depends on whether you consider him 'Mr. Right Now' or 'Mr. Right' and what you want at this point in your life.
Good luck!
Thanks for your reply, I wasn't really asking because I like him and want to be with him I was just wondering why he would act that way.
And honestly Marj, I may be hanging around the wrong guys but I have not found guys to be at all straight up, if they were this board woundn't exist ;) my experience is that bravado and ego get in the way of men (at least some) being at all straight up about their feelings.
supertrooper 02-11-2004, 11:13 AM Males that act like this aren't MEN, they are BOYS. Men know how to behave around women. Which brings us to something else about boys. They often classify girls in two ways: those they date and those they sleep with. He might have enjoyed being around you and when you showed you were willing to do the deed he took what was offered. Then he couldn't finish the job. Oh well, move on. His behavior around you after shows how much he respects you now. I bet when he is out on a "date" with a girl he is much more respectful. This is not someone to waste another thought about. He sure doesn't think about you.
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